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“Service before self” isn’t just a phrase for Carlandra “CT” Moss—it’s a lived reality, a moral compass and the legacy she continues to build. As a Black woman and a Veteran with more than 24 years of honorable service in the Army Quartermaster Corps, Moss has dedicated her life to the principles of duty, sacrifice and patriotism. But her story is about far more than uniforms and ranks. It’s about perseverance through adversity, the strength of legacy and the deep community found in shared purpose.
Overcoming setbacks with purpose
Like many who serve, Moss’ journey in the military wasn’t without its share of obstacles. One of the most painful came near the end of her career, when she was passed over for promotion to sergeant major. It was a decision that profoundly impacted her, and ultimately, one that led to her retirement.
But she didn’t let that moment define her. Instead, she viewed her military service as a powerful foundation for the next chapter of her life. Her perspective is both grounded and visionary. Rather than focusing solely on what didn’t go as planned, Moss is quick to point to what the military gave her: structure, resilience and a toolkit for leadership that translates into life well beyond the service.
A legacy of service
Moss’ impact doesn’t end with her military career. Her dedication to service inspired her children to join the military as well. Her son serves in the Army, and her daughter in the Air Force. For them, it is more than a family tradition—it’s a living legacy of black patriotism and a testament to the powerful influence of a mother who leads by example.
Moss believes the key is recognizing the value that service can offer, not just materially, but also in terms of personal growth and long-term stability.
“You have to weigh the pros and the cons,” she said. “If you choose the military, you will see how beneficial it will be for yourself and your family. Use it as an opportunity. It’s like any job.”
Strength in community: The role of military parents
As a parent of two service members, Moss is filled with a multitude of emotions, given that she knows their experiences personally. Though she feels immense pride, watching her children wear the uniform comes with a unique mix of worry and hope.
For her, connecting with other military parents has been vital. There’s an unspoken bond among those who send their children off to serve—parents who understand what it feels like to wait for a call, to celebrate milestones from afar and to feel immense pride even in the face of uncertainty.
“In many ways, it’s harder being the parent,” she shared. “You’re not in control anymore. You trust the values you raised them with—and the military to help carry them forward.”
She encourages parents of service members to reach out to one another, forming communities of care and support. Whether it’s through online forums like the Blue Star Neighborhood, local meetups or Veteran support groups, connecting with others who understand the journey can make all the difference.
Finding family in shared experience
One of the unexpected gifts of Moss’ service has been the enduring connection she feels with other Veterans. Whether in uniform or civilian clothes, the connection is undeniable.
“I can be at the grocery store and start talking to someone and be like, ‘Did you serve?’ ‘Yeah! I was in the Navy!’ We’re a magnet to each other,” she said, smiling.
It’s that sense of instant understanding—of having walked similar paths, faced similar challenges and lived by the same values—that gives Moss a powerful sense of belonging.
A new chapter, same mission
Today, Moss continues to embody the ethos of “service before self,” not by rank or title, but by the legacy she carries, the people she inspires and the community she continues to build around her. Her story is a reminder that even in the face of disappointment, there’s dignity in the journey and strength in continuing forward.
And for parents of those who serve, her message is clear: You are part of this legacy, too. Your strength, your prayers your pride—they matter. Find your community. Lean into shared experiences. Be proud, together.
Special opportunities for military parents
To help foster that connection and support, Blue Star Families is hosting a special monthly virtual event for parents of service members to come together, share their experiences and connect with others who truly understand the journey. Whether you’re seeking guidance, camaraderie or just a space to share stories, this event is designed for you.
Event Details: Mingle & Chat: Parents of Active-Duty Service Members
Date: Aug. 27, 2025.
Time: 7:00 p.m. ET.
Location: Virtual Event.
Blue Star Families also launched Military Parents Connect NeighborLink, a new way to feel heard, supported and connected with someone who truly understands.
Here’s how it works:
Opt in by August 18.
Get matched with another military parent.
Connect using the calendar invite (or reschedule easily!).
Share your feedback to help shape future connections.
Whether you’re navigating a deployment, celebrating a new enlistment or just need someone to talk to, this is your chance to connect with a fellow parent who gets it.
Let’s continue the conversation, support one another and build a stronger community.
