It has been over 12 years since the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT), allowing LGBTQ+ men and women to serve the country they love openly: living out, living proud and paving the way for the inclusion of all LGBTQ+ service members in the United States military.
Under the former DADT policy (1994-2001), service members should not have faced questioning about their sexual orientation, and revealing it would lead to discharge. Navy Veteran Asher Honish, assistant chief for the Prosthetic & Sensory Aids Service at the Palo Alto Health Care System and newly elected President of PrideVA, shares his perspective of the life-altering effects of DADT.
Walking into the recruiter’s office on a Friday and into boot camp on Monday, Honish enlisted in 2001 and served for 16 years—but was discharged twice because of the policy.
During his first enlistment working as a linguist at Fort Gordon near Augusta, Georgia, under DADT, Honish revealed his sexuality to his wife on their wedding night. As a result, Honish and his former wife decided to annul their marriage. Following the annulment, his former spouse ensured his unit was aware of the reason behind the annulment, leading to Honish’s first discharge under DADT.
“All of a sudden, I got pulled out of work and told that my clearance had been temporarily revoked. ‘You’re being investigated,’ they said. And within a couple of months, I was ushered to the front gate of Fort Gordon and that was it,” Honish said.
“I felt like a criminal.”
Due to a clerical error, his sexuality was not listed in his initial discharge records, making him an active reservist and eligible for recall. In 2006, Honish was called back to active duty. He served openly for a year in Kuwait without any problems until he was featured in a Stars and Stripes cover story that described his experience as an openly gay man serving in the Armed Forces. As a result, he was discharged again under the policy. Afterward, he worked with the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, which provided free legal services to LGBTQ+ service members affected by DADT.
“Something as small as finding a Melissa Etheridge CD in a straight buddy’s bunk could turn into a weapon against them. Whole careers were ruined over nothing. And hearing about the harassment and violence people went through because of it, it is just heartbreaking,” Honish said.
After the repeal of DADT, Honish returned to active duty and became the first service member to do so after the end of the restrictions.
“The harassment was unpredictable.”
While the policy has been legally repealed, many continue to endure the devastating effects of DADT. Initially, harassment varied and depended on the culture that the commanders and other individuals in the unit fostered. “The harassment was unpredictable and there was no particular pattern to it,” Honish said.
It has been over a decade following the repeal, and the damaging effects of harassment and prejudice on LGBTQ+ service members and Veterans who served under the policy are clearer. LGBTQ+ service members are more likely to experience sexual harassment, stalking and sexual assault than their non-LGBTQ+ counterparts, and 59% of LGBTQ+ service members are not openly gay in their workplace.
Honish wants anyone affected by DADT to know Veterans can find help and support through VA’s health care system regardless of where they are in the country. “Whether you need to report an instance of harassment or discuss past experiences related to issues like DADT, there is always someone you can reach out to for assistance,” Honish said.
There is an LGBTQ+ Veteran care coordinator (LGBTQ+ VCC) at every facility to help you get the care you need. VA policies require that your health care is delivered in an affirming and inclusive environment and that VHA employees respect your identity. Contact the LGBTQ+ VCC at your nearest facility.
“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell has been abolished but that doesn’t mean that harassment has ended,” Honish reminded.
Explore the resources available to you
VA’s policies and programs are designed to meet the unique needs of all Veterans. The Veteran LGBTQ+ community is still affected by DADT and VA shares a responsibility for ensuring all our Veterans experience a welcoming, inclusive and fair VA.
If you are struggling with the effects of sexual trauma, you are not alone. VA has resources to support Veterans who have experienced sexual trauma at any point in their lives. Explore the resources and learn which might work best for you.
If you are a Veteran who experienced or witnessed sexual assault or harassment at a VA facility, please tell someone you trust at a VA location. For example, tell the VA Police, a Patient Advocate or your health care provider. If you’ve left the facility, call 1-800-MyVA411 (1-800-698-2411) and select option 9. The call center is staffed to answer reports of this nature all day every day.
It is our priority to make our stories educational where we can engage empathetically and thoughtfully with difficult content, when appropriate, maintaining a safe, welcoming and inclusive culture for all. If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault or harassment, support is available.
If you’re a Veteran in crisis or concerned about one, contact the Veterans Crisis Line to receive 24/7 confidential support. You don’t have to be enrolled in VA benefits or health care to connect. To reach responders, Dial 988 then Press 1, chat online at VeteransCrisisLine.net/Chat, or text 838255.